Tuesday, 16 June 2015

Sure You'll Have More??!!

Nope I wouldn't!  Well never say never but I've a boy and a girl and as I always say "I can't get any other kind if I go again."
I would love to have loads of children but honestly pregnancy doesn't suit me and I'm so sick for the first trimester and well into the second trimester;  it's a myth that the sickness/nauseous feeling goes away after 12 weeks.  My second pregnancy I was sick till 18 weeks the third pregnancy, sick till 24 weeks.  With my third pregnancy I was on crutches for the last few weeks due to a nerve in my hip/back and I couldn't drive, I felt such a burden and useless to my two year old son who couldn't understand why I couldn't play with him.

I've being pregnant three times but have two living children which I am so grateful for but everyday I carried them I feared I'd lose them.  For whatever reason at the early stage of pregnancy I bleed sometimes this can be implantation bleeding but any type of bleeding at the early stage is taken seriously and in my case results in, internal scans.  These scans are so nerve wrecking, they search my vast womb for a baby the size of a grain of rice but it'll have it's little flicker of the beginnings of it's heart.  Amazing to see but at the same time I wait to here bad news like I heard with my first baby.

My first pregnancy sadly miscarried just before Christmas eve back in 2009.  After 11 internal scans a laparoscopy, a weeks stay in hospital and a lot of arguing between doctors my first baby wasn't meant to be.  Throughout my second and third pregnancies the memory of my first pregnancy stayed with me as I'm sure it would do again.  It's the fear every time I go to the toilet that there will be blood or them little twitches you get in your growing belly will get worse and result in, well . . .
Why is it that people feel they have to ask 'oh when's the next one; sure you'll go again; your only young you'll have more' and so on.  I am very open about miscarrying my first baby as it helped me to talk about it and I find when I say it to a person they will say 'me to' or they will know someone who has gone through the same or similar situation.

I felt the need to write this post as not a week goes by that I don't get asked 'are you having more; when's the next one, you have two sure a third would be no problem' and there is times I find myself thinking I'd love more children, but I want to be happy with the beautiful, loving, caring children I have and carried for nine months and baba number one will always live on in our memories.

Pregnancy isn't easy and to carry a child to term is a true miracle
 and takes a brave woman to take on the task

Places of Help if you find yourself in the unfortunate position that I and my husband did :
eumom - This site is amazing for information and forums where you can speak privately
Local GP