Sure You'll Have More??!!
I've being pregnant three times but have two living children which I am so grateful for but everyday I carried them I feared I'd lose them. For whatever reason at the early stage of pregnancy I bleed sometimes this can be implantation bleeding but any type of bleeding at the early stage is taken seriously and in my case results in, internal scans. These scans are so nerve wrecking, they search my vast womb for a baby the size of a grain of rice but it'll have it's little flicker of the beginnings of it's heart. Amazing to see but at the same time I wait to here bad news like I heard with my first baby.
My first pregnancy sadly miscarried just before Christmas eve back in 2009. After 11 internal scans a laparoscopy, a weeks stay in hospital and a lot of arguing between doctors my first baby wasn't meant to be. Throughout my second and third pregnancies the memory of my first pregnancy stayed with me as I'm sure it would do again. It's the fear every time I go to the toilet that there will be blood or them little twitches you get in your growing belly will get worse and result in, well . . .
I felt the need to write this post as not a week goes by that I don't get asked 'are you having more; when's the next one, you have two sure a third would be no problem' and there is times I find myself thinking I'd love more children, but I want to be happy with the beautiful, loving, caring children I have and carried for nine months and baba number one will always live on in our memories.