Emotional Red Head

Bye Bye Quinny 

It's finally done I've put my fabulous Quinny buzz up for sale, this buggy has carried my two most precious possessions in the world my little boy Henry and little girl Lily.  Hubby Brian just can't understand why I'm finding it so difficult to part with a buggy but to me its more.  My lovely red Quinny kept my little ones warm and cosy when we walked in the woods, walked up the town, it's wheeled on the streets of many's a counties in Ireland. At times it was my safety blanket wheeling it infront of me meant I had a barrier from those unwanted people I didn't want to talk to, or when I just had to walk up the town it made me feel safe to have something to hold on to.  Just a buggy no, definitely not !
  When I found our I was having a baby and we started looking at buggies it was like buying a car it was a mind field, you aren't buying a buggy your investing in a travel system.  We test drove many three wheelers, four wheedles, off road, city, jogger, yes I'm still talking about buggies. The coffee table was starting to look like a library for buggy catalogues and I had to many near misses with lamp post from spying at pumped wheels and swivel wheels a decision had to made. So we went with the Quinny buzz in red it came with every attachment possible. I remember it arriving to the house I was like was like a child at Christmas, actually no, I more resembled Santa at the end of Christmas with the big jelly belly, I was week to my due date. The buggy was assembled by myself, hubby isn't very DIY, and it looked fabulous my favourite thing was the carry cot. Being the novice that myself and hubby were with buggies we were convinced that the carry cot was broken, we couldn't get the hood to stay up. We travelled back down to kool kidzs in Sligo https://www.babyaccessories.ie/ and we showed them how the hood was broken.  The very kind lady showed us that no it wasn't broken we just weren't clinking it in right! Doh!

I know when it comes to it it's time to move on, I have a fab double buggy that hasn't got much use my Quinny has been very good to me for over three year and it's time now for someone else's little one to sleep soundly and to peer out at the world from the many attachments.  It does feel like another  chapter in live is been finished, my little ovaries and womb are shutting up shop, selling my buggy was me saying no more baba's.  I know I know I can buy another, but it wouldn't be the same Henry and Lily had some of their first sleeps in that buggy, went on their first trip up town, their first walk in the woods, first staycation, first Santa visit, first walk I to town from the house . . . 
It's strange the material things you grow attach to and that's all it is at the end of the day, I was so exciting getting the buggy and my Mam and Dad helped pay for it which was lovely.  The only buggy /buggies I will be buying from now on will be in miniature form for my little girls dollies.

As they say in the print media world: as this article went to print the buggy had been sold! I love my Quinny and they have a huge range of buggy's strollers, travel systems etc  http://www.quinny.com/

I would love to here what buggy you have, what advice you'd give when bugging a buggy, where you delighted to get rid like this happy daddy on Ebay  http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Phil-and-teds-green-explorer-double-/131406614416. I'd love to here your comments all buggy related

A Letter. . . 

To my fellow Irish Girl Guides, (IGG)

"giving girls confidence",  no truer words could be said for me, this time last year I headed up to a Ladybird meeting to become a leader.  I was so apprehensive, scared, nervous to name a few emotions, but an old friend and fellow girl guide and ranger had convinced me to come back into IGG, the amazing Ms Siobhan.    A year on and I am so happy to be back in the swing of IGG taking up my post as "rainbow" and at the at the moment camp helper.

I have had post natal depression since the birth of my little girl over two years now and this time last year leaving the house was a mammoth task for me, I would find any excuse not to go places be it with my family or friends.  When I did go up town I'd hide behind the buggy do what I had to do and I'd never go up alone, I would always make sure I had someone with me.  Once my husband was at home I would go upstairs alot and just lie in the bed. If I wasn't doing that I would probably be arguing with myself or my husband over nothing, as most days I would cry for no reasons while still trying to be a mammy to two little ones and do all the Mammy things I should be doing.  Most days I'd hold it together till my husband would come home then I would just crash, I would hit my wall, some times literally!  I am still being treated for Post Natal Depression and my story has so much more to it than this I am just giving you a snippet here.  In time I'll write my full story but for now I still find it difficult.

But thanks to IGG and true friends like Siobhan, Stephanie (for giving me the nudge to go for it)  and all my IGG ladies a year on I now go to a Ladybird meeting every week which I plan and carry out together with my fellow leaders.  My ladybirds make me smile every week they are so polite and funny, when we make buns or cookies one Ladybird says to me "I'll give you the tea but not the bun", love it.  At the beginning of the year I took part in the Free Being Me training and then for six weeks I went to the local Guiding Branch to bring the girls through the course.  I was made feel so welcome by the girls and leaders, some of whom where my leaders back in the days!  I now no longer fear leaving the house I even walked the St Patrick's Parade, secretly I was bricking it but with the IGG gang all around I was fine.

Many people think IGG is all about badges and flags and learning off stuff it's not!  I've gone through the ranks from Brownies all the way to Rangers, (now Senior Branch) and now I'm a leader and who knows what in the future.  The Irish Girl Guides both as a young girl and a women has made me and helped me to be the person I am today.

Am I the Worst Mammy ?

As a stay at home Mam I don't get performance reports on how I'm doing at my job, my pay isn't increased when I've another year done, hang on, I get no pay and I've no colleges to compare notes with.  Instead I base my productivity on how happy my four year old and two year are!  I have two very demanding children polite but demanding, so while they scream from the sitting room,"Mammy I want a drink" its always followed with a "please".  I must be doing something right? Some days are more trying than others as are some weeks . . .

Last week I said to my own Mam "my kids hate me", I've only recently being teaching Little red head that the word 'hate' is a very strong word,  so I am possibly being a bit dramatic?

My days are spent tending to the every whim and need of my two monkeys, there are days where we have a blast and then there is days where it seems like all I'm doing is roaring and screaming.  I want my children to have a voice to know they can come to me with their problems, stories, questions etc,  but there are times where I think I've let them have to much rains.  When Little red head (the four year old) is telling me he's cross with me and Mini miss (the two year old) is saying Mammy bold, I wonder have I done right by them?

I'm not afraid to admit I've tried all types of discipline the step, a slap to the leg, the naughty corner, many many charts the list is endless.  We stopped the naughty corner the day Little red head turned round to his Daddy and said "you bold into the corner", he was two.  There is only two and half years between my two and the youngest one is really starting to find her own and knows how to push the buttons of the four year old.  I try to be balanced when sorting out who pulled who's hair first, but goodness its difficult when she's laughing and he's saying I'm cross at you and stamping and grunting round the room.

The days where I just want to call in sick and I realize my work is at home jumping on my bed saying "pony on" and "paint nails", them days are difficult to just get to pee in peace finish a cup of tea or have a quick chat on the phone uninterrupted.  I know when I'm tired or having a bad day my patience is easily worn those are the days I try staying even more busy, because on the days I don't and I'm tired and the kids are tired the shouting starts and I'm watching the clock till hubby gets home so I can get a breather.

Every week I bake, do art/crafts, go for walks, go on trips, play, read stories and so on.  I just want my two monkeys to be happy, but the days I feel like I'm getting it all wrong I wish I could call a staff meeting in the board room with tea and muffins and hash things out.
No matter how the day has gone it always ends with a story, a kiss good night and "i love you".

Not a days go by that I don't ask myself the question 'am I doing this right?', like "they" say the child doesn't come with a manual.  Last week was difficult and I felt like I was the worst mother and getting it all so wrong, then this happened . . .

It was just like any other day, but in what office would I get to spent this moment with my Mini miss.  I had just painted her face and she said "Mammy turn". In that moment I just felt it's all worth it.

The Count Down Is On

40 days and counting, it's not me counting it's Little red head, (LRH).   Every night he goes to his calendar and gets me to count the days till he starts school and every time I do it I swallow a little lump.

We've the copies bought the paw patrol lunch box and drinks cup, the lunch containers one of which is a lego movie one; that was a difficult one to find.  The pencil case was a big decision but he finally settled on a Minions one for his pencils and the like and a Transformers one for his colours.  I've bought three different pencils and two different sketch pads, who knew finding a 40 page sketch book would be so difficult.

Then the major choice was the school bag, at first the request was a transformer one.  I searched the shops then the net but anyone I came across was either expensive or to small.  As I searched for the perfect school bag my dear friend was across the town on the same search as myself, we spent one night swapping internet pages till alas my friend came across the Disney shop.  Now I've already said that some of the bags I had researched already were too expensive so then how had I come to spending in excess of €30 for Little red head bag, well i didn't Nana did, LOL.  It is a pretty cool bag it lights up and as an added extra we got Little red heads name stitched on to the strap.  When it arrived in the post and LRH Nana gave him the bag the excitement in his face; que more lump swallowing from Mammy.  For the rest of the day LRH went everywhere with the new bag on his back and I've put it away twice, but he appears with on his back going round the house saying "look at my bag".  The big new school bag dwarfed my little boy, but he was so happy it made me smile and of course do some more lump swallowing.

In all the shops it says "back to school" on the signs where you'll find that section, I think there should be a designated area for the first timers.  For the Mammies/Daddies I'm talking about and there we could have a sit down, take a breath and have a cuppa, I'd call it "sniffle area"...   In the area there would also be copious amounts of tissues available.

40 days and counting, where is the time going?

 A Month of Firsts 

It was a big month in our house in September and truly an emotional roller coaster

First day of school; you bounced of looking so happy and excited
First schoolbag; there was many to choose from, but you went for a superhero, light up bag with your name stitched on the strap
First scratched knee; I wasn't there to wipe your tears, but you said you were ok and you had fun playing with your buddy
First phone call; oh I cringed after this one, when your teacher rang me
First play date; after school your buddy came in the car with you and the two of you played, laughed and scattered toys 
First time tidying your room; this was a result of your buddy coming to your house, you took such pride in tidying your bedroom
First drop off and pick up; watching you run out with your big bag on your back and the happiness in your face, ready to tell me all your news
First school birthday party ; I've a feeling I may as well move into the soft play centre, with many more parties to come
First branding; the night I ironed on your little name tags to your clothes, I had to take a moment
First homework; I was surprised by your enthusiasm to do a great job, let’s hope it continues for many years 
First school lunch; you get your little jam sandwich every day but you eagerly await your special treat of chocolate sandwich on a Friday

My baby boy you’re getting so grown up, I look forward to many many more first in your life.  I will always be here for you through the ups, downs and first x x x

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