Wifey Red Head
We were out for a lovely walk with the two baba's on the beach in Enniscrone and into Maple Moose for yummie ice cream and of course a quick visit to see our Grandad.
On the way home hubby rang, while we were pulled over chatting to my auntie. Now here is where naive me comes into play. I ask hubby how was his day told him we'll be home soon and I then think 'ah no I don't need to tell him to put on dinner', mistake number one! I finish phone call to hubby say our good byes to auntie and off we go on our ten minuet journey to home.
As we near town little red head mentions he's feeling sick so we slow down a little and my mammy says to I drop her off at shop so she can purchase the essentials for her hubby. Here comes naive act number two, from one wife to another myself and mam get into a little chat about men and how they have it easy. My mammy mentions how my hubby is prob asleep on sofa I say " oh no he is probably cooking the dinner or cleaning up something, he's not like Dad"! (Mam just smiles, and polishes the egg)
After dropping my Mammy off at shop and little red head also went with his Nana as he'd had enough of the car. I heading home with my big happy head, naive act number three, expecting my Mary Poppins husband at home. What do I find; a peaceful sleeping hubby, oh well the red haired temper came on show!
I've debated this question and turned it over and over in my mind, for me I think its the Mammy guilt that stops many of us enjoying any time we get to ourselves. The rare lie in, the trip up to the shops child free, a girly night to the cinema, the grocery shopping, heading to the gym or for a walk and so on. All these activities are tainted due to Mammy guilt; oh I should be cleaning the house, I should be with the children, I shouldn't be at the cinema I should wait till tomorrow and bring the kids instead, I should be at home full stop! Why though "Me Time" is so important the constant demands of motherhood takes its toll and getting a break to recharge the batteries, means that you can be a better happier person. The guilt is all down to ourselves its unnecessary and its time to stop!
Two weeks ago myself and hubby on a very rare occasion got out for lunch, we booked, well ok not we, Me, of course booked a sitter and we headed out for food. It was lovely to eat without sharing my food, to have adult conversation and not have to get up from my meal numerous times. We finished our meals in record time, it's a habit that is difficult to break, but on the plus side we had lots of time left before we had to get home so, we went for a wander round the shops. I was convinced I'd left a child in the car or lost one of them in a shop, I didn't know what to do with my hands 'wheres the buggy, changing bag, drinks bottles, spiderman toy, tinie tiny toy cat, Oh hang on I'm child free for a few hours'. I tried to relax and to my own surprise I relaxed and wandered aimlessly round the shops looking at everything and nothing, it was lovely. Once I sat back into the car to head home I no sooner had the seat belt on and I was thinking about what I needed to sort when I got home. It was nice when it lasted!
We all handle our lives in our own ways and how we choose to spent it is entirely up to ourselves, I know I only have myself to blame for the Mammy guilt, I should take more me time! I don't think "Me time" is a myth it's down to how attainable we make it. Whether you work outside of the home or in the home you are continuously putting you children before your needs, our children get their time so why can't Mammy and Daddy get their time.
Your the adult take your time, if it's just heading to the late night shops on a Thursday evening go you'll be all the more relaxed for it. Accept the generous help from a friend, go book that sitter you've been thinking about calling, book a cinema night with hubby or your girl friends, Bridget Jones is about to hit cinemas, go for it. Start small if that's easier while the kids watch their film leave the dishes, don't worry they'll still be there when you get back to them and take out that book you've been meaning to read and sit up with the children.
I'll leave you with this; I work in the home and a friend of mine works out of the home, one day we were chatting about our lack of time for ourselves. I said I just feel so guilty leaving the children and my friend said but I'm gone out of the house and I feel so guilty if i do something for myself also. My friend said she wished she had more time at home with her children I said I wished I was out of the home more earning for my family. Where's the balance, both my children and my friends, want for nothing, it's us Mammies who need a break.
Me Time an attainable Myth . . .